This has been a hard blog post to write. For years I have lived balancing between two lives, on one hand I was the typical soccer mom (track actually) living in suburbia, 3 bedroom, 2&1/2 bath , 2 car garage colonial surrounded by many other beautiful homes. The other life was on weekends taking shaman and other classes on spirituality and sometimes during the week I would be out with the Spirit Life Network finding and crossing over ghosts.
Lets just say that the two halves of my life never really met.
My friends and neighbors, when I mentioned “going to class” on the weekends just assumed that it was an art class since they were aware that I am an artist. I never corrected them .
I was afraid.
I was afraid of being labeled I was afraid of people changing how they felt about me. About what they thought about me.
I was essentially living an illusion.
Which is either ironic or hypocritical depending on how you look at it since in my studies I was pursuing the truth and ripping away illusion.
I started small. I opened the door a crack…..
I told my neighbor, a very good friend about what the class actually was .
Shockingly she didn’t faint or run away screaming!
She was actually interested.
This gave me courage.
I started mentioning it in passing to some of the people in my life. And I can honestly say that I did not have one bad response.
At this time, I actually started to integrate the message that i really isn’t any of my business what other people think of me. I was being true to myself and my path and if others had problems with it, it pointed to their baggage , not a reflection of me.
I did find that more and more people started to come to me with paranormal or metaphysical questions. It was a nice feeling that I wasn’t seen as a headcase.
But even if it had gone the other way, and I was shunned by the people I cared most about, It still needed to be done.
I was still not 100% out of the closet. The door was still only opened about 40%.
Fast forward to Face book.
Most of my friends are on Face book. I have a love hate relationship with the social media outlets.
(I’ll save that discussion for another post)
A recent job loss and some other shifts in my life have pushed me to expand my healing circle. I am use to working with and for the people who are closest to me. Most of the people on my facebook page had no idea about my spirituality. And I was fine with that. People I just interact with on line I reasoned are on a need to know basis. In other words, I did not need them to know.
I am not in the habit of proclaiming my beliefs. I keep them private. Its my right. right?
Well after designing this website I realized that in order to get the word out there of what I had to offer I had to get out there on a larger scale.
You would think I would have learned form before.
Clearly I do not learn my lessons so easily.
I took a deep breath that lasted 3 days and finally posted it.
Again, the earth shattering quiet. Only no unfriending going on (and really would that be awful?) and tons of positive comments.
Which had me realize 2 things. 1. More and more people are open to the idea that there is much more that they can see or prove than ever…and 2. It hit home (hard) that I got energy from others reactions to me. I know I need to shift out of this pattern, but how wonderful that I was able to learn a lesson in such an easy manner…..some lessons can be, shall we say…much more of a challenge!